tinkerbell'swings

An open letter from the Flower Fairy

2008-02-05T20:53:00.001-08:00

"why should i ruin these pretty petals if i knew from the start that he loves me not?"

i am the flower fairy.

i take care of my little darlings from the time they come out as buds until the time they wither. i only rest when its winter time. for the rest of the year, i am very, very, very busy.

i heard it's the season again.. humans giving flowers to other humans. humans spending tons and tons of those colorful paper called "money" to buy my little darlings..

my poor little darlings that might end up with the hands of a broken-hearted little angel chanting: "he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not..." then here comes the flood.. tears.

what do my babies have to do with that. we do not tell your man to love you according to the number of petals that we have nor in the way that our scent reaches their brains.

we don't do that, and we don't have to do that 'coz if that human loves you, he'd show you, or at least let you know. we never dictate how he should feel about you.

we are flowers, you are humans.

you should know better. we are supposed to bring joy when you are sad, and not be the reason of your sorrow just because we missed one petal that should have ended that chant with a sweet "he loves me." we are supposed to be cherished, placed on the vase, be watched as we wither then be kept on a cutesie box when we finally die.

you are not supposed to hurt us just because your man is too coward to tell you whether he loves you or not. we can make you happy, you can find peace in us.

let him decide, let him think. we do not have the answer, he does.
in this coming season, a lot of us will be just around the street corner to watch you.

.. and you, my dear angel, should know what to do.

The day Peter Pan FORGOT about me..

2008-01-22T18:52:00.000-08:00

A year after his stay in Neverland, Peter Pan returned to the Darling home.
He revealed that I exist no more, that I was dead.

He forgot about me..

I wonder how one person for whom you have given your all, is able to forget things that fast. There were moments when I thought about leaving him, only to find myself falling weakly on the floor, I couldn't move, and so I stayed.

I never forgot about him.. I spent my very short life, living in the grace of this little lingering feeling in my chest (I don't really know what it's called, humans call it Love, I'm not sure..).

I never forgot about him.. I only thought about what would make him happy. I was there despite the reality that he only thought about Wendy.

I never forgot about him.. about the dream that one day, he would notice me, and he would feel the same. He turned his back at me, thought that I was dead and got away with it without any regret, frustration, sadness, longing..

I will return to Neverland and reveal that I AM STILL ALIVE, with the same feeling and with this old dream.

Like the phoenix that has risen from the ashes, again and again,
I will be there, by his side.
I will make sure that he will not forget me.
Then, I can leave. For good..

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let's cut your hair!!

2007-12-03T19:05:00.000-08:00

There she is, sitting by the window of her flat at the top of that golden sky scraper.
Clouds, clouds, clouds, more clouds..
Somehow, Rapunzel wishes to see a dove flying towards her with a little note tied on its foot. A note of love from the Prince.
But there's none, only clouds, clouds, clouds and more clouds.

"I know he will come over to visit me. He'll cling on to my long, long hair to get here."
Wishful thinking.

"I'm giving him 7 days. If he won't be here, I'll cut my hair and I'll never grow it this long ever
again."
A threat.

"But.. I really want to see him.. If I cut my hair, that will never be possible.."
Backing out.

"Who cares?! That's his loss if he won't come over. I'll still be me, with my hair cut shorter!"
Denial of the truth.

"I'm tired.. I can't wait any longer.. It's been a long time now, I'll do this soon anyway. Let me do this now."
The surrender.

(It's the same line of thought that runs through my head right now...)

Humpty Dumpty- Revisited

2007-11-12T01:56:00.000-08:00

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the king's horses and all the king's men,
Could not put Humpty Dumpty together again..

I fell and got broken too.

I was quietly seated on that pretty twig, one cold winter afternoon, when Peter Pan suddenly came up to me. He asked how am I coping with the weather. I told him that I was doing well. That little concern alone filled my heart with delight. My fondness for him grew, in each passing day, in each passing year, winter after winter..

When Wendy came back to Neverland, my winters felt colder. Peter Pan would no longer be there. Wendy was his world. Nevertheless, I survived... only to realize that I withered like the trees in fall in anticipation of a colder winter... without him.

There was a time when I can no longer handle it. For a fairy like me, holding two emotions at the same time is NOT POSSIBLE, and so when I feel pain, I only feel pain. Like Humpty Dumpty, I fell from that twig and got my heart broken. Funny, I thought that since my heart was shattered into pieces, I can feel a number of emotions at once.

I was wrong.. the ache just multiplied by the number of broken pieces..

Unlike Humpty Dumpty, I got friends who picked me up and put me together. They all came, the fairy of the flowers, the fairy of the dusk and dawn, the fairy of the waters, that of the woods, and my best buddy, the fairy of the fire.

And so I am whole again writing this account.
It's cold out here, up this tree.

I guess it's winter time again.

Sleeping Beauty's Insomia...

2007-11-07T01:24:00.000-08:00

Not all people knew that Sleeping Beauty had a sleeping problem.

She had it since the Prince woke her up with a Kiss. The couple consulted the best doctors and wizards in the Kingdom. No one could help her.. As time went by, her illness started to ruin their relationship. They would argue about her not sleeping, her moods, his wants, his plans, their past, their present and their future.

Like I said, it all started when she woke up after a very long time sleeping and snoozing over wonderful dreams about her secret world, about her man, and about her greatness. When she woke up, all dreams disappeared. Everything was replaced by the existence of her beloved Prince. Nobody knew that she secretly hated him for waking her up. She hid her sadness of not having those dreams again. She hated him most especially when she was not able to sleep..

This time, Sleeping Beauty and the Prince decided to sit down and talk about it. They realized that it has come to a point that they would have to choose between staying together and sleeping well..

(I know what's on your mind right now dear reader.. Pathetic isn't it?.. to love or to sleep? to love or to sleep?.. this is not fair. Let's take it to a higher level, the love or the dream? the love or the dream?.. now, it rings a bell.)

The Prince knew that he wouldn't be able to give Sleeping Beauty the dreams she most wanted. And so he let her go.

Sleeping Beauty then went back to sleep, she chose her dreams.
And so she's alone in her own world.

Up to this time, she's still there.
What she doesn't know is that, her Prince is beside her, waiting for any sign that she wants to wake up again, willing to kiss her again, and be with her through all the arguments and through all the sleepless nights.

He prays hard for it, and that's all he's left to do for now.

the Magical Kiss

2007-10-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

I was reminded about the story of a good friend.. the Frog Prince.

Princess did not have any interest in him. In fact, he was treated as the ugliest thing in the kingdom. Then came, "magic", "love", whatchamacallit.. He turned into a handsome Prince after that kiss and they lived happily ever after (like the other Fairy Tales).

Now, here's the thing: how could "magic", "love", whatchamacallit just turn things around and put them in their right places in the end?! whoaw... crazy..

For a fairy like me, of course, that would be very, very, very easy. One click, and it's done. But I wouldn't want to use my powers right now. :)

I want things to fall into places on their own, or with that "magic" or "love" perhaps.

I kissed Peter Pan while he was sleeping ('cause Wendy would not allow me do it if she was there), but nothing happened.. yet. Good thing, he didn't turn into a frog! :)

I know, he has an idea of what I did. Well, that's our little secret.. and that's not Magic, that's love. :) A secret it is..

Unless he DOES SOMETHING about it.

Tea Party with Alice in Wonderland

2007-10-16T01:37:00.001-07:00

My wings got tired so I took little steps to Wonderland (not so far from Neverland). I visited a friend, remember Alice? That curious little girl who followed Mr. Rabbit, drank that potion and turned into a giant, played croquet with the King and Queen of Hearts, got lost in Wonderland, got too fond of adventures.. We'll she decided to stay in that place, and we had tea together.

In the course of our conversation, she reminded me of that Mad Tea Party she had with Mad Hatter, March Hare and the Dormouse.

"I was really insulted by their jokes and riddles! That was the stupidest tea party I've been to!"
"So what did you do then?.."
"I left them, then I found myself in another place, a better place actually.."
"I see.. I would have done the same.."

We said our goodbyes, then we parted ways.

I'm now on my way back to Neverland. I'm still thinking about what she did: Walked away. Found another place. Found a better place..

Should I go back now? or maybe later? or maybe never?

I know Peter Pan waits for me. He would want to hear what I did today. He would be more than happy to know that I had a tea party with Alice. That would be cool!..

But that would be the end of it.. stories, stories, stories. And it would be his turn to tell me how his day was, with Wendy of course. How they played together, how they climbed that tree, how they picked those flowers (those beautiful things that we fairies take care of, for them..).

Think, feel, think more, feel more.
I'm tired.
I'm flying back to Neverland.
Before it's Wendy's turn to tell stories. *wink,wink*

Brat vs. Brat

2007-10-11T02:33:00.000-07:00

Tink had a fight with Peter Pan the other day, over something that may seem nonsense for others. Well, they talked about it. Tink even cried over it. Both were at fault and so they both made up for it. They're OK now. :)
Communication. The key to every relationship, without which, there can never be trust, care and love. We don't have superpowers to read each others' minds. Speak up, express yourself. Confrontation is not always negative. Take the risk, take action before things become worse and end up in trash. Be heard.

A Short Message from Tink

2007-10-07T20:34:00.000-07:00

Funny... I received this short message from a friend way before i made this Blog. Short and sweet.

When Peter Pan saw Tinkerbell again after quite some time, he asked: "why did you have to go away for so long?" Tink replied: "you never gave me a REASON to come back. I was always there when you needed me.. But I guess, you never showed how important I am to your life. It's different and now we've changed, but I'm still smiling.." Peter Pan then asked her why.. Tinkerbell: "I myself don't know the reason, it's just that now.. it's your TURN to miss me. "

Tinkerbell is Back

2007-09-22T00:08:00.000-07:00

Tinkerbell wants to go home.. and she will, at the very first chance she gets.. thanks dearie!